I made the difficult choice to leave my dog Willow behind when I move. I feel guilty that I'm not able to take care of her properly anymore. Shouldn't my love increase my capacity? She's really attached to me because I was the one who held her as we drove her home. I'm attached to her too because she's my baby but I don't have the money to take care of her on my own anymore. I don't have the energy to even take her on walks or play with her for more than 5 minutes outside. Fuck autistic burnout fr. I hate this. I want to bring her with me. I'm loving her as much as i can while I'm here. She sleeps in the bed with me at night now even though I hate how she kicks and scratches my back throughout the night. I play fetch her way now - I throw the toy, she runs to it, stares at me until I walk over and pick up the toy, then I throw it again. I'll purposefully drop chicken on the ground for her to eat. When we cuddle and she's sleeping I stay still even when my back and shoulder start aching. I'm going to miss her. I wish I was capable of taking care of her now. My sister will be taking care of her instead which is relieving... I just hate that I keep having to let go of things I love because my body can't tolerate it anymore.