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Koi ga Ochitara

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nsfwBL/yaoimangafavinject this into by bloodstream right NEOW

English Title:

If Love Falls On You

review date:

3/24/25

author:

Ueda Aki
trigger warnings:
  • age gap

This manga is in my top 5 favs of all time. I looove a story with an early confession, great smut, and an affectionate seme - thats my shit right there! I don't remember how I stumbled on this story, but after reading I couldn't get it out of my head. The relationship is so sweet! Everytime I re-read it my heart flutters . I like how Yuuki's (MC) insecurities are shown & how Hishimoto's constant & clear acts of affection help to lessen them. Yuuki has a bad past with romance due to his previous partners leaving him for women which makes him insecure & scared to get into another relationship. The age gap in this story isn't that meaningful other than being used to emphasize how Hishimoto is different than Yuuki's ex's. The artwork is lovely & the smut is great and meaningful. I recently found a BLCD for Ch.1 in japanese and the voice acting is DIVINE to listen to while reading along .

Interview with the Vampire (2022)

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nsfwshowlgbtqia+tragedyspoilersvampiresgay & sadvent

review date:

4/15/25

Favorite Character:

Claudia
trigger warnings:
  • domestic violence
  • nudity
  • gore
  • death

I cannot for the LIFE of me get my mind around how I feel about this show . Like... I re-experience the same emotional turmoil every time I start thinking about it. I don't know how to condense my experience into a nice little post that is more of a review and less of a rant. It's been a month since I finished and I'm STILL struggling - ugh! I'm not used to watching shows with complex characters that are evil and manipulative but also pitiful and beautiful. How do I balance my hate and discomfort with my empathy and love? These gay male vampires suck (pun intended). Lestat, Louie, and Armand are awful. I hate the way they view themselves, how they intentionally harm and manipulate each other, how they lash out and hurt others, and especially what they did to Claudia. I hate them! But their stories are so compelling. Even Lestat who perfectly represents what a white devil is to me, I found myself empathizing for him - which I hate! I don't want to feel bad for the white devil! Let him burn! I guess I can accept that I hate their actions and my empathy mainly extends to the situations that caused them to be who they are now. Idk, that still doesn't feel right but it's all I can accept right now.

I'm also struggling with accepting the fact that this is a love story. There is so much abuse, manipulation, lies, and intentional harm done within these relationships for me to see the love existing. A huge part of this show is who is telling the story rather than the story itself, but in every perspective their relationships just seems so painful. Maybe I don't know love at all, or maybe I'm focusing too much on the harm done. Their relationships just seems so horrific to me right now. Maybe this story is more about what could have been between them, or just the tragedy of vampires existence. I'd love to hear what other people think of the show and the characters.

MY CLAUDIA!!! After watching the show twice I still mourn & grieve for Claudia. Truly all the vampires she had contact with abused her and neglected her. Her story was tragic but beautiful and so heart wrenching. Her death fucked me up. I felt like I was grieving for weeks after seeing her die like that. Compared to the way Claudia died in the movie, her death in the TV show was much more gruesome and cruel. On the 2nd rewatch it was easier for me to watch but the sorrow still hit me like a wave. Claudia is my favorite. I loved how despite her creation being for the benefit of Louie & Lestat she existed for herself. I loved Delainey Hayles's performance in S2. Everyone was amazing in the show! As much as I hate these vampires the cast embodied these characters phenomenally.

Fun Fact: I watched IWTV before playing Baldur's Gate 3, and when I found Astarion I refused to put him in my party because I saw Lestat in him. This was my first "your choices matter and change the story" game so I was SOOO worried that if I put him in my party he would somehow fuck up my chances at saving people. He stayed in camp until the end of Act 3

Final thoughts for now: the show is phenomenal. I still have a mess of incomplete thoughts floating in my mind and more hate to spew about these fucked up vampires, but I'll let it rest for now.

On the way to Meet Mom

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parenthoodmangafantasyadventurefeel good read

review date:

4/18/25

author:

Gomyang

Released:

2022

Status:

Ongoing
trigger warnings:

Very cute story about aliens trying to figure out how to take care of a human child - Mori - that has captured all of their hearts. He can't speak and grew up in the wilderness so his behavior is already different than other children. Despite his communication issues he doesn't struggle with making connections with others. I really like how the alien caretakers feel like taking care of this child is an alien experience. The landscapes and art are gorgeous. The story really showcases how a community is formed around their desire to nurture and protect Mori . The story is still ongoing and I don't know how many chapters it'll end up being but this has already become one of my cozy feel good reads.

i've gotten used to being on my own so i'm ignoring my fiance

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historical fantasyromanceshe don't need no manmangafeel good read self discoveryregretminor spoilersfav

review date:

4/18/25

Author:

Arase Yahiro

Released:

2022

Status:

Ongoing
trigger warnings:

Another 'feel-good fav' of mine! Love, love love this story! Typically in otome iseaki/historical fantasy romance mangas when a fiance is neglected the plot pushes the FL to either find a new better fiance, prove to her current fiance that she's at least worthy of his attention, or laments the tragedy of her situation . Instead of doing any of that Nicole - our lovely neglected fiance - decides to stop expecting anything from her indifferent fiance and with that decision she realizes that she has the freedom to explore her own interests . Nicole and her fiance Lord Caius's perspectives are shown which shows how differently they view their relationship. It's a great story about a young women within aristocratic society discovering her independence after experiencing heartbreak, though I doubt the story will end with them apart.

I'm not going to spoil too much since I don't want to ruin the experience for anyone else but I have to gush about Rubelia! She is the absolute best, her dramatics are soooo fun. Initially her character is kinda set up to be this "villainess" or snobby classmate of Nicoles but she is nothing of the sort. I'd love a spin-off just exploring her love life !

barbarities

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historical fantasyromancebl/yaoimangagorgeous art golden retriever toppolitical dramamysteryfav

review date:

4/23/25

Author & Artist:

Tsuta Suzuki

Released:

2023

Status:

Completed
trigger warnings:
  • sexual harassment

Barbarities is one of my favorite BL stories I love the head-over-heals golden retriever energy Viscount Adam Canning embodies. Everyone is enamored with him when they see him except for Justice Montague (aka Joel). Their dynamic and chemistry is great! The slow burn romance feels real and the complexity of Joel's feelings are explored at a great pace . The confession at the end is amazing, and at the end when Joel and Adam have sex Adam (the top) isn't "overcome with lust" but is just as flustered as he was each time Joel returned his affections. The artwork & fashion are gorgeous - they give life to the setting! Tsuta Suzuki must have done tons of research for the fashion in renaissance Europe. The details are so good! Anytime I want to read a fluffy BL story with political drama and beautiful art I come back to this story. Also the 2nd couple is cute but not my favorite. I would have loved it if Gil could have found his own freedom. The two princes bonding was cute and added more fluff to the story, I would like to see a spin-off of them when they grow up.

part of your world

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disneyromancefantasyretellingsbookYAprince eric why are u even herehate rantspoilers

review date:

10/7/24

Author:

Liz Braswell
trigger warnings:
  • stupid man in power

The worst rendition of Ariel's story I've ever read. This story is a boring, cliche, and confusing retelling of Ariel and her idiot Prince's love story. Prince Eric was infuriatingly incompetent until the end of the book. He was the damsel in distress and Ariel was his hero, except she didn't really rescue him and he wasn't in distress because he had power he just didn't use it so why were they like that??? The only benefit to reading this book is all the high-level vocab words that are thrown in. This story functions more like a dictionary + word search than a thrilling YA adventure with likeable characters. This fantasy world doesn't hold together and the characters and plot further unravel anything believable about the plot. Ariel was initially interesting to follow - her becoming the Queen of the Sea after Triton's assumed death - but when she returns to the surface and shifts her attention to Eric she becomes less of herself. She slowly reverts back to her younger naive self, pining over Eric despite her goal to save her father from Ursla's captivity. This in itself is fine to introduce conflict, but once Eric starts talking it becomes a struggle to understand her attachment. We only get once scene seeing her use her abilities as a Queen of the Sea! When she uses her powers it's unintentional but just happens to work out. Ok go off Queen I guess?? There's just not much to enjoy about Ariel in this story.

Now about Ursula... She is reduced to a vain, short-sighted version of herself which is so insulting and disappointing. Honestly her characterization reminds me of the bland villainesses that appear in otome isekai manga - that level of one-dimension-ness. In the Disney movie Ursula is wise, driven, and evil with an understandable motivation. In this story, Ursula was successful with marrying Eric, making her the princess of his kingdom which apparently makes her no longer interested in ruling the sea. She's only focused on taking over the land because humans are easy to manipulate and there is fun land magic... WE'RE THE MERFOLK NOT EASY TO MANIPULATE? SHE GOT ARIEL'S VOICE BY LYING TO HER AND TRICKING HER AND USING THE VOICE SHE STOLE TO SEDUCE THE MAN SHE FELL IN LOVE WITH. WHAT DO U MEAN HUMANS ARE EASIER TO MANIPULATE???? I SAW HER DEN WITH THOSE WORMS - ALL ASSUMABLY MERFOLK THAT WERE TRANSFORMED BECAUSE SHE WAS ABLE TO MANIPULATE THEM!!!! And also she no longer cares for Triton's trident despite that being the WHOLE REASON for her to fuck with Ariel in the first place. She's so vain in this story it's painful. She just wants riches, to gain more power, and to be revered in the most shallowest ways possible. Braswell tries to justify this but it doesn't work because it doesn't feel like Ursula, it feels like her fake identity "Vanessa" - and I don't give a single FUCK about Vanessa! Ursula is literally iconic, all Braswell had to do is build off of who Ursula already was, not tear things away. Vanessa has no depth and she was only able to come across as intelligent when it came to dealing with Eric, but as the story continues it's obvious that it doesn't take much thinking to outsmart Eric in any regard.

And Eric. Mad Prince Eric! What a waste of a character. Truly he could have been in a coma and still provided as much entertainment, depth, and help as he did in this story fully awake. In the story Eric was the damsel in distress waiting for his lost legless lover to come and rescue him. He is a waste of a prince, I don't even know if he knows what a prince is. Does he know what he can do as the one in charge of his own kingdom??? He never shows that he does! He decides that in order to continue tricking Ursula he needs to continue acting as the Mad Prince - i.e. letting Ursula run his kingdom and control everything politically while he makes his sadboy music and compositions . He makes his choice after he realizes that Ursula is pushing his country to go to war with all other kingdoms across the continent and his people are suffering for it. Like why is this his response? He is a PRINCE and he KNOWS THIS and he's BEEN THIS all his LITERAL LIFE, yet he does absolutely nothing with his authority to halt Ursula's plans. Like sir - YOU ARE A PRINCE. ACCUSE HER OF TREASON NEOW . In one scene him and Ursula are having dinner and Ursula is basically like "yea I put you and your entire kingdom under my spell and I know Ariel is here and that she broke the spell I put on you and I'm forcing your kingdom to go to war because I want absolute power but just keep letting me do this ok ty teehee bye" and Eric's response is to be snarky and whine about it like a fucking brat. After the dinner, he STILL continues to act like the Mad Prince DESPITE Ursula knowing he's no longer under her spell ! WHY?! Because he decides he can't stop acting until he knows what her motivations are. SHE KNOWS YOUR ACTING NOW, YOU CAN STOP IT. Just investigate her as yourself ! In any political, social, or rational angle he does nothing to lessen Ursula's control. Truly a worthless prince through and through. This retelling doesn't need to exist because it takes more away from the story than it gives to it, and theres not much to discuss or ponder about this reduction other than "why?". I'll end this rant with my most hated interaction involving the Idiot Prince and Ariel.

Context - Ariel & Eric meet for the first time after the wedding night (Ariel had to retreat back to Atlantis without her father or her voice). Eric is married to Ursula/Vanessa and Triton is her captive. Ariel has gotten her voice back.
Ariel Eric

you're... a mermaid now? yes and you can talk now. yes and you came back for me? i came back for my father. i received word he might still be alive, as a prisoner of ursula oh... your father. of course that's the main reason i have returned. we have thought he was dead all these years. i'm here to rescue him i just thought... i mean... i had hoped you came back to take me away from all of this. to live happily after somewhere. under the sea, maybe.
She just said she was here to RESCUE HER FATHER SHE THOUGHT WAS DEAD and you still made this about you? I swear imma-

legendborn

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fantasyromanceYAbookretelling fictiongriefmagicsecret socitiesspoilers

review date:

10/4/24

Author:

Tracy Deonn
trigger warnings:
  • racism
  • gore
  • sexism

So I decided to start this book after starting a higher dose of my ADHD medication and I think that helped me get through the middle of the book . I didn't finish this book but I did skip to the end to see the conclusion. The beginning was really interesting - exploring Bree's grief was really well done and had me invested in her journey. However, as the book shifted and focused more on her romance I felt disappointed and lost interest. She deals with the loss of her mother by desprately trying to escape all memories of her even at the expense of her relationship with her dad. I liked the therapist - her mom's old friend - but she kinda gave magical negro auntie more than helpful therapist. I thought it was awkward how quickly she delved into Bree's personal life outside of the grief counseling bounds. The book started losing me more after the half-way point because I couldn't get into the story. All the intense moments were because Nick - the future leader and Bree's love interest - kept getting attacked and kidnapped by monsters, or Bree kept getting into mortal danger and someone came to rescue her. I just couldn't wrap my head around why a secret society that has existed for hundreds of years and controls the police force and presumably multiple governments doesn't have better security or protocol for emergency situations. Nick ends up giving an exposition dump with so many terms that it took me making an hierarchial chart to understand what was happening. Legendborn. Kingsmage. Pages. Onceborns. Regents... All thrown in my face in a few pages. Didn't love that. I didn't like that none of the love interests were black characters because this book was marketed as black centered and I took that seriously. Bree's family & her therapist are literally the only black people that exist in this story, yet they are located in the south and she attends a university that has a proud racist history. She didn't make any other friends that were black, and her best friend who I believe is Asian is hardly present or relevant. This story explores white spaces with one special black character which isn't what I was expecting tbh. No one in the secret society is black either because - surprise - they're also proudly racist! I just found myself reading this story wishing Bree could have found a community with other people - especially as she's struggling with grief - instead of trying to climb a ladder thats been pulled on the roof. I did appreciate how the racism and sexism that is shown in the book mirrors real experiences - I related to a few moments myself. Anyways, The fight scenes weren't enjoyable. Bree isn't able to fight until way later in the story so most of her encounters end up with her getting injured and passing out. Her romance with Nick is fine but their chemistry is lacking. The reveal that the magic secret society members are using stolen magic rather than borrowing the magic like any good witch/warlock should was great. Overall the book was partly enjoyable for me. I probably also just don't like YA retellings lmao.

sinners

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the dangers of a white savior review/analysis?moviefavblack horror vampiresmusicalslasher spiritualitygood god this is what i neededanother black classicspoilersso many spoilers

review date:

5/3/25

Director:

Ryan Coogler
trigger warnings:
  • racism
  • gore
  • blood
  • death
  • sex scenes
  • mentions of lynchings
  • KKK
  • religious themes
  • systematic racism

I enjoyed this movie a lot! Really liking this era of black vampires and horror media, thank you whoever decided to bring back Candyman . The film takes place in 1932 Mississippi during the Jim Crow era. Michael B. Jordan did amazing playing two characters Smoke & Stack - he portrayed each characters distinct personality clearly. The pacing of the story is great, it's patient when developing the characters which gave me time to learn about each character and why what was going to happen that night mattered. The whole cast is phenomenal, no one felt disposable at all. This is going to be a LONG review. I have so many thoughts about it!

I don't have much else to say without getting into spoiler territory so read on with caution.

remik the white devil / unaware colonizer

We got another White Devil - wooo ! Remik is an Irish immigrant vampire that is summoned to the Juke Joint through Sammie's music and when he sees that Sammie can connect to ancestors and future descendants using his music, he desires to use Sammie's gift for himself. I think Remik is such a good villain especially for representing other threats to the black community outside of racism. I love this choice since typically in black films set in Jim Crow era/slavery era or films with a black cast & a white villain the motivation is always racism in one form or another. However Remik is not racist and often shows his solidarity with other marginalized communities. He even shows genuine empathy towards black peoples struggle to survive in the Jim Crow south. When he first appears he is being chased by Choctaw indigenous people and when asking the couple for help he uses their tribes name which is a sign of respect in that time period.

I learned through this video the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma sent $170 (equivalent of several thousand dollars today) for the relief of the Irish poor in 1847 after learning about the Irish famine.

He is shown to have disdain for racists. He kills/turns a couple after realizing they are in the KKK, and later he even warns Smoke that the local chapter of the KKK plans to come in the morning to kill everyone in the Juke Joint. Since the KKK also targeted Irish immigrants in the 1920s/30s he has a shared experience with the black community of going through systematic violent oppression.

However none of his solidarity & empathy prevents him from causing harm to the people in the Juke Joint. I think he represents a white savior and performative ally who believes his shared experience with violent oppression removes his ability to harm marginalized people himself. He doesn't see his actions as destructive - rather freeing and transformative. He tells them that through vampirism they can essentially escape racism and oppression like he has and others have - using the KKK members he's turned as evidence of such... which I guess means he thinks that because they're vampires they can't be racist Anyways, in the process of trying to get to Sammie he manufactures his own community by destroying Sammie's and literally forcing his way into a safe space built by that black community and after being rejected he destroys what they built in one night, then with his newly manufactured community he celebrates with them by dancing and singing to his traditional music which is soooo ironic because they refused to let him into the Juke Joint because they were celebrating & connecting with their community & culture... now he's turned them and forced them to partake and celebrate his culture that they didn't even want... literally FORCING their assimilation . Remik wants Sammie so he can reconnect with his lost community, but he doesn't realize that in the process of chasing this he is colonizing the black community and leaving them disconnected from their cultural roots. He forces their deaths/transformations and sees it as them being 'saved'. He really gives unaware colonizer.

There's so much more to say about what threats Remik represents to the black community - a colonizer, white savior, performative ally, etc. but I think he also represents how powerful people (specifically in business/industries/politics) want to exploit black talent. Sammie's talent is spiritually connecting with ancestors and people of the future within his community and Remik wants that. Remik tries to offer many things in an effort to get closer - offering his talents by playing music, offering money knowing that they need it, offering freedom from their ongoing oppression and struggles through vampire transformation (Lestat much?), leveraging the two white people he turned who were in the KKK as proof of his allyship, & tempting them with his power by demonstrating how once they are turned into vampires they share memories. When none of this works he resorts to using outright violence and fear tactics. But after turning people from the Juke Joint he uses their memories and connections to hurt the remaining people inside - at one point he uses the memories of a man he turned to crudely speak to his still unturned wife in her native Chinese language. Their knowledge and gifts once in his hands (or mind rather) is used to further harm them while he continues to benefit from his possession of it.

Remik is a tragic and naïve villain. I think he can represent how a lot of white "allies" actually come across (to me at least). This movie uses vampirism to represent an oppressive system that is inherently violent. Remik isn't much different than the KKK other than his motivations. The violence is the same, the terror is the same, only the intentions differ. He harms this black community not because he hates black people, but because they have what he wants. In an attempt to "help" and "save" he hurts and destorys because he's still operating within the system that is vampirism. Remik - even with his solidarity and empathy - is comfortably and proudly existing in an inherently violent system that requires blood and death to survive, so no matter what he does in an effort to assist those harmed by other oppressive systems, he will cause harm. His comfort and desire to bring more people into the system of vampirism is also a constant threat to the communities that he empathizes with. What this system is exactly representing idk - maybe capitalism, maybe whiteness - but so long as he exists within it and even acts to ensure its longevity he will only be a villain to those communities.

I absolutely love Remik as a villain, especially a vampire one! His complexity and genuine motivations are so interesting to explore.

the music

I liked the messaging of how powerful, healing, precious, and desired black music is, which is blues in this case. They show the inspiration for blues by showing Delta Slim remembering how he lost his friend to a lynching, and when he felt those painful emotions he started to hum to a blues tune . Loved that! To later show that Sammie's music is bringing everyone together and acting as a bridge through time for his community emphasizes the healing power in this music. When he performs it in the Juke Joint there's a vision of the walls burning down, showing that there is no one space that is meant to contain this talent. At the end of the movie he chooses his music over the church because music is his freedom. Being restricted to only play within the church and only play for God was a limitation to his abilities he wasn't willing to accept. Also his voice alone is fantastic. Please sing more!

The Rocky Road to Dublin is my favorite song! It slaps and the scene with all of them dancing around Remik is really beautiful and haunting. I see this as Remik believing that he is on "the rocky road to dublin" and celebrating getting one step closer to his destination and reuniting with his people. Ugh so good!!!

Mary & her proximity to whiteness

Mary is such an interesting character to me. I believe in the film she's a black woman who is "white-passing", but I didn't understand that until looking at the Sinners Wikipedia page . I'm still confused if she was actually considered white passing for the time period. I know there were laws that dictated how to determine someone's 'colored' status but I'm not sure what stipulations were in place, so for as far as I know she is a successfully white passing black woman. My main interest in her is how her proximity to whiteness is used as a tool by Remik to easily gain access to the black community in the Juke Joint. Mary through and through is apart of the community, but because of her closeness to whiteness she exists kinda on the fringes of it. When she shows up a the Juke Joint she isn't immediately let in, she's told she's in the wrong place, but once someone that knows her background vouches for her she's let in. She essentially has to prove that she belongs to this community because she doesn't 'display' as apart of it. It's giving "ok you're invited to the cookout now" and "not black enough for the black kids, not white enough for the white kids" which are topics I'm really sick and tired of but the movie doesn't make this obnoxious so I'm ok with it. She tries to use her proximity to whiteness to help Smoke & at large the rest of the community, but that doesn't work. Once she's turned and is fully 'assimilated' to vampirism (which in this case I'm referring to vampirism as whiteness) she no longer cares about the black community. She has left them behind and now aligns herself with the vampires by using the word 'we' and even delights in the thought of killing them all. I think the exact words she says is - we gon' kill you all - At the end of the day she is not to blame for their deaths, but I just think it's interesting that she was the one that was used to get Remik a step in the door and push the rest of the black people out of the safety that was the Juke Joint.

other thoughts

I had the realization after the movie ended that even after the horrors they faced that night, if they survived they would have had to face another horror far removed from the supernatural kind - the KKK. That night was their only night of freedom and for daring to chase it others organized to destroy them. The moment Smoke & Stack bought the sawmill from the racist owner who is in the KKK, they were marked for death. The moment Sammie played his song and the music escaped the Juke Joints walls and made its way to Remik's ears, they were marked for death.

Theres so much more within the messaging and themes in this movie that I'd like to explore so this review may get longer later.

when the killer falls in love

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bl/YAOIcomedyassassinsbest couplefavdramamangamy darling boys

review date:

5/2/25

Status:

Completed

Author:

Eresemo
trigger warnings:
  • blood

Funny. Cute. Heartfelt. Intense. Chaotic as hell. The comedy is my taste. I like the outrageous situations they find themselves in. It's fun to follow Ju Tae-man (a trained assassain) fall in love with the popular romcom actor Kang Da Hyuk. Their chemistry is great and the matched intensity from both is soooo funny. Just a story about two silly intense men falling in love!

the black mirror

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bl/yaoinsfwhorrormangatoxic relationshippsychologicalsupernatural

review date:

10/4/24

Status:

Completed

Author:

Muhwa, Wrist
trigger warnings:
  • blood
  • death
  • child abuse
  • choking
  • dismemberment

I read this for smut and horror, nothing else. The plot is pretty good but not my main interest. This story has what I like in smutty BL horror stories, especially with how the horror elements are apart of the sex.