So I decided to start this book after starting a higher dose of my ADHD medication and I think that helped me get through the middle of the book . I didn't finish this book but I did skip to the end to see the conclusion. The beginning was really interesting - exploring Bree's grief was really well done and had me invested in her journey. However, as the book shifted and focused more on her romance I felt disappointed and lost interest. She deals with the loss of her mother by desprately trying to escape all memories of her even at the expense of her relationship with her dad. I liked the therapist - her mom's old friend - but she kinda gave magical negro auntie more than helpful therapist. I thought it was awkward how quickly she delved into Bree's personal life outside of the grief counseling bounds. The book started losing me more after the half-way point because I couldn't get into the story. All the intense moments were because Nick - the future leader and Bree's love interest - kept getting attacked and kidnapped by monsters, or Bree kept getting into mortal danger and someone came to rescue her. I just couldn't wrap my head around why a secret society that has existed for hundreds of years and controls the police force and presumably multiple governments doesn't have better security or protocol for emergency situations. Nick ends up giving an exposition dump with so many terms that it took me making an hierarchial chart to understand what was happening. Legendborn. Kingsmage. Pages. Onceborns. Regents... All thrown in my face in a few pages. Didn't love that. I didn't like that none of the love interests were black characters because this book was marketed as black centered and I took that seriously. Bree's family & her therapist are literally the only black people that exist in this story, yet they are located in the south and she attends a university that has a proud racist history. She didn't make any other friends that were black, and her best friend who I believe is Asian is hardly present or relevant. This story explores white spaces with one special black character which isn't what I was expecting tbh. No one in the secret society is black either because - surprise - they're also proudly racist! I just found myself reading this story wishing Bree could have found a community with other people - especially as she's struggling with grief - instead of trying to climb a ladder thats been pulled on the roof. I did appreciate how the racism and sexism that is shown in the book mirrors real experiences - I related to a few moments myself. Anyways, The fight scenes weren't enjoyable. Bree isn't able to fight until way later in the story so most of her encounters end up with her getting injured and passing out. Her romance with Nick is fine but their chemistry is lacking. The reveal that the magic secret society members are using stolen magic rather than borrowing the magic like any good witch/warlock should was great. Overall the book was partly enjoyable for me. I probably also just don't like YA retellings lmao.